| Q. I work in an office with several people, all of whom I | | | | The beaver, being a good-natured and trusting chap, |
| get along with quite well. There is one person, | | | | allowed the scorpion to crawl on his back, and he |
| however, that really gets my goat. He gladhands | | | | swam across the river. Just as the beaver reached |
| everyone, smiles and schmoozes with the boss and | | | | the shoreline, the scorpion stung him and got off. As |
| acts like everyone's friend. The problem is this person | | | | the beaver lay dying, he asked the scorpion why he |
| steals other people's ideas, talks behind your back and | | | | broke his promise. The scorpion replied, "I'm a scorpion; |
| is basically a wolf in sheep's clothing. I love my job, and | | | | that's what I do." |
| I would not leave it for the world. So what do I do? Do | | | | And so it can be with some work relationships. |
| I go to the boss and complain, do I rally my co-workers, | | | | One useful way to handle the sharks and scorpions in |
| do I confront this person myself? | | | | your work life is to play the game called "I can expect |
| A. I'm often asked this question, probably because | | | | that." For most dolphin-like people, it usually comes as a |
| there seems to be one of these folks in just about | | | | surprise when people behave like sharks. It catches us |
| every workplace. | | | | off-guard. |
| What you're dealing with is what I call a shark. And | | | | Playing "I can expect that" simply means that with |
| what's worse, it's not a shark that's big and obvious as | | | | certain people, we can expect them, almost trust them, |
| in "Jaws." This one looks and acts like a dolphin. | | | | to behave in shark-like ways. Playing "I can expect |
| The problem here is that when you are in the water, | | | | that" allows us to: |
| it's hard to tell them apart. | | | | Anticipate negative behavior. |
| Let's take a quick look at the difference between | | | | Plan for negative behavior. |
| dolphins and sharks at work, and then we'll put some | | | | Respond instead of react. |
| "hands and feet" on these notions. | | | | Predict another's behavior. |
| Dolphins are the people you can trust. Sharks are the | | | | Reduce our stress level. |
| people that, at best, you can't trust, and at worst, you | | | | After a little practice, you can even laugh a little at |
| have to protect yourself against. | | | | what's happening - "Here it comes, I was expecting |
| DOLPHIN TRAITS | | | | that." |
| They do what they say they will. | | | | A client I once worked with had a colleague who |
| You can confide in them. | | | | exhibited some distinctly shark-like behavior. Whenever |
| They are team players. | | | | Mary presented an idea in a staff meeting, her |
| Their behavior matches their words. | | | | colleague would shoot it down. |
| They take responsibility for mistakes. | | | | By playing the "I can expect that" game, Mary was |
| They can be trusted. | | | | able to arrive at a creative solution. Whenever Mary |
| SHARK TRAITS | | | | had an idea that she really wanted to see happen, she |
| They fail to follow through. | | | | simply anticipated her colleague's response and ran the |
| You can't confide in them. | | | | idea past her at least a week before the meeting. By |
| They're out for themselves. | | | | doing this, she gave her colleague the illusion of |
| Their behavior doesn't match their words. | | | | participation and prevented her from shooting down |
| They blame others. | | | | the idea. |
| They can't be trusted. | | | | Now, some may call this manipulative. I call it simply |
| There is the story of the beaver that was getting | | | | working smarter. You don't have to confront the |
| ready to cross the river. Just as he was getting ready | | | | person, talk to your boss, or rally your co-workers. The |
| to cross, he came upon a scorpion who wanted a ride. | | | | good news here is that this technique can help you |
| The beaver refused, saying the scorpion would sting | | | | keep your head in difficult situations. And if you can |
| him and he would die. The scorpion denied this and | | | | "keep your head when all about you are losing theirs," |
| promised he would not harm the beaver, if only he | | | | you expose the sharks for what they really are. |
| would take him across the river. | | | | |