Driving the Nullarbor in a 2-door Coupe

Friends expressed concern for Anita Ryan's safetysome hot food and cold beer.
across the Nullarbor Plain from Perth to SydneyA very cheerful waitress told me about the menu: "oh
(Australia). A single female travelling solo may be awe have both kinds - chicken AND beef!"
magnet to the rugged men of the desert, they said."How about wine-by-the-glass?" I ask.
Anita recorded her journey for posterity, or a first-hand"Oh, the best cask wine money can buy!"
obituary should the worst happen.I really love their enthusiasm - we were, after all, in the
PART ONEmiddle of very harsh terrain miles from bountiful fresh
Heading south from Perth, I stopped at Bunbury towater and internet connections, and these girls can still
swim with wild dolphins in Koombana Bay. The Dolphinsmile.
Discovery Centre supplied the wetsuit, but swimmingI then went to book a room, but the motel was booked
with these magnificent creatures made me forget theout. (And it wasn't even school holidays!) I had no
cold. I even forgot my own name, which was tragicoption but to take a rudimentary cabin in the caravan
seeing as I was the only company I had hereon in -park. It was comfortable enough, but the constant
apart from infinitely annoying commercial radio.stream of people flip-flopping past my door to the
My senses still buzzing, I drove inland through theamenities block had me cursing the double-plugger.
salt-bed of Lake Grace, turning south again at LakeJust as I thought it was safe to go to sleep, at 3am, I
King. Here I passed a sign welcoming me to thewas woken by my neighbour's alarm through the thin
outback, and began to notice other drivers waving atwalls. This is not unusual, except that it was his mobile
me. It took a while to realise they weren't waving offphone, and it was set to vibrate.
the abundance of flies, they were simply beingFrom then on, the sounds of travellers hitting the road
courteous country drivers.filled the air, and I found it impossible to get back to
After eight hours of driving since Perth, I arrived insleep.
Esperance - a town so pretty I quickly forgave it forTired and cranky at the start of my third day, I took a
placing its entrance through the industrial area.gentle trip to the Old Telegraph Station 4km south of
Fortunately I arrived in time to drive the 45-minute Pinkthe Eucla establishment. Seeing how remote and
Lake circuit to see (you guessed it) the pink lake.rugged our settlers would have had it made me count
The circuit runs past Australia's first wind farm atmy blessings, and I pointed my car east in a much
Salmon Beach, then meanders onwards past thebetter mood.
stunning Bluehaven and Twilight Beaches. Luckily theMinutes later, I stopped again. I'd reached the Western
speed limit is 60 km/h - the view is so amazing whoAustralian and South Australian border and there were
wants to watch the road?roadblocks while guards searched the cars for fruit
I took my time following it past 9 Mile Beach, 10 Mileand vegetable matter. I ate all the fruit I could then
Lagoon and 11 Mile Resort (no, I'm not joking, thosesurrendered the rest, along with a Margaret River
really are the names of the beaches). Relaxing at Pinkgrapevine cutting that was to be a gift for my brother.
Lake I hung around for the sunset to see if the lakeSadly, border guards weren't forthcoming with hot
gets any pinker. It didn't.coffee to accompany my breakfast, even despite
I found accommodation easily, choosing a Bed andfluttering eye-lashes and a threat to put my hair down.
Breakfast a block from the jetty. For dinner I headedNever mind. For the next 180 kilometres I was to be
off to Esperance's 30-year institution: Beryl's Eats - atreated to the most stunning coastline I could imagine.
mobile burger van on the Jetty foreshore. Then I didInnocuous "Photo Opportunity" signs dotted along the
what every local does... I sat between the fishermenroad pointed to car parks 600m towards the coast,
on the jetty, ate half the burger and threw the rest toand every single one was worth the detour.
the sea-lions playing under the jetty pylons.There is no railing along the cliff edges; so be careful
On Day Two I awoke to breakfast served onyou don't get blown off. Furthermore, if you suffer
Wedgewood china and advice to wear my hair downfrom vertigo, go with a friend - they can hold onto you
- "The police are young dear," my host smiled.and stop you from jumping off. The water is so
I set off with bouncing hair and high spirits despitestunning and clear, it really entered my mind as a good
having to give up my plan to travel further east alongthing to fly off the edge. I don't know how far down it
the Cape le Grande. Arguably it is Australia's mostis, but I sensibly dragged myself away before I could
stunning coastline, but with 4WD-only access it was anfind out.
invitation for disaster for my two-door coupe.Two hours later I entered what I came to refer to as
Instead I headed north to Norseman - the last townthe "zone" - the Nullarbor Treeless Plain.
before setting forth across the Nullarbor.Lightly vegetated, the land is an incredible desert
Norseman is named after an old horse who crossedwilderness, its wild beauty offering an hour of spiritual
the Nullarbor and founded the town. The story got mespace. As it melded into the National Park and then the
to wondering if the town is therefore made up ofYalata Aboriginal Land, I was so moved I decided to
stallions and nags.create a mobile Nullarbor Disco as a gesture of
Barely ten minutes onto the Eyre Highway that wouldgratitude. I sang the only song I know about "rain" in an
take me approximately 1200 kilometres without havingeffort to influence the Universe to nourish the
to turn a corner, I passed my first casualty. A pop-topspattering of trees, although I'm not quite sure what the
caravan that had popped its top. It was a timelytrees would do if it really did start raining men.
reminder that I was embarking on a serious journeyEmerging from the "zone", I felt a real sense of loss as
and my job was to stay alive to enjoy it.I encountered commercial signage advertising crafts
Barely two hours later I whizzed past the Belladoniaand email. Ah, civilisation. I use the term very loosely
roadhouse. That's when I realised the dots on the mapmind you - my senses were assaulted with the sight
aren't towns, but roadhouses. Thankfully for theof cleared land that looked brutalised after the
recalcitrant traveller like me (sans jerry can anduntamed beauty of the desert. I didn't enjoy this section
camping gear), the roadhouses are usually no moreand, for the first time in this whole adventure, I felt tired
than two hours apart and have fuel andwhile driving.
accommodation facilities. However, unfortunately forEven though I thought it was mid afternoon, I had
the recalcitrant traveller like me (sans drinking water)missed a time-zone change, and it was now in fact
showers can cost a dollar a minute and attendantslate afternoon. Luckily, Ceduna was only another 30
laugh at requests for fresh water.minutes down the road. The time lag combined with
Outnumbering roadhouses by, oh, a million to one, wasthe deflation from re-entering civilisation had taken its
road kill. This was proof positive of the road signstoll. I fell into bed after gorging on Smoky Bay oysters,
warning the presence of kangaroos, emus and camels.and this time slept like a baby. (No, I didn't wake every
Camels? Yes, apparently so, although I didn't see any. Itwo hours with a pooey nappy screaming for bosoms.
only saw dozens of kangaroos and emus, andI mean, I slept well.)
needless to say treated them with enormous respect.By my fourth day, I'd just about had enough. I was
One emu particularly impressed me when he crossedstarting to suffer from Rrrrr Disease - named after the
the highway at what looked like a pedestrian crossing. Isound of the relentless hum of tyres on the road that
learned later that the white stripes are markers for anpermeates every waking thought. I took a shortcut
emergency landing strip for the Royal Flying Doctoracross a desolate wasteland across the top of the
Service. So now I was watching out for kangaroos,Eyre Peninsula to Port Augusta, but it was a hard slog.
emus, camels and aeroplanes.Only one town, Kimba, made an effort to welcome
At around the halfway point of my day's driving, I hittourists, reminding them that they were now "half way
the start of Australia's longest straight road. On theacross Australia."
map it's called the 90 Mile Highway, but I think that'sThe best thing to happen to me this day, was a
because it was built in the time of imperialserendipitous diversion via the southern Flinders
measurement. Besides, "144 Kilometre Road" doesn'tRanges. After the monotony of the dead straight
have the same ring to it.roads, it was delightful to be able to steer again and I
Another hour on and the countryside startedvowed to never take a curvy road for granted after
resembling a Leunig cartoon. A barren landscape withthis. The inland road wove its way south through
only a scraggy tree to break the horizon.picturesque historic towns and via the Clare Valley
The road kill was now competing for space amongstwine region.
an amazing array of inanimate objects such as blownI headed straight for my favourite Clare winery, only to
tyres, half a ute, a boat rudder, and a yellow Hi-Acediscover they had shut early. This disappointment
converted to a message board: "Hi Pam and kids, Itriggered a weariness so profound I fell onto the grass
saw a yowie." And I thought they were only foundand sooked. By now I was completely sun-smacked,
near cash registers.road-wrecked, wave-whacked, white-lined, sign-swiped
Despite the barrenness of the terrain, it is exquisitelyand travel thick. The thought of getting back into the
beautiful, especially when viewed from the Maduracar sent me into a panic, and it was only the patient
Pass lookout another two hours on. I almost got out ofcoaxing of a friend by mobile phone that convinced
the car to take a photo, but the heat outside meltedme to get back into the saddle to drive the last hour to
my lip-gloss.Adelaide, which I did, only it took me two hours including
The Madura Pass marked the start of a rounded hillthe periodic roadside rests to settle the nerves.
so long and unvarying I imagine that from the air itAfter mopping up my dribble, I went to bed looking for
must look like a giant carpet snake. It stretches all thesleep. Unfortunately, the perplexing question of "Where
way to Eucla, 200 kilometres on.was the rabbit proof fence?" kept me awake, until I
A huge white Christians' cross overlooks the highwaylooked it up on a map only to find it several hundred
on approach to Eucla. After ten hours in the car, I waskilometres north of where I'd been driving. Ooops. Just
so delighted to see it I almost converted. I didn't, but itgoes to show how good I am with maps - I'm probably
was a narrow escape.quite lucky to have even found Adelaide!
Upon arriving at the biggest roadhouse on the EyreEven so, the fact that I'd got this far safely was
Highway, I did some stretches to activate my legenough to say a heartfelt "thank-you" to my guardian
muscles again and headed straight to the bistro forangel.