Alternatives to Being Rescued by Dolphins

Apparently there's a big debate going on in scientificThe pack of dolphins swum around the group, keeping
circles. Swimmers and surfers from around the worldthem together, for over half an hour, when there was
are coming up with stories that they have somehowno obvious danger or problem around. That, said the
been 'rescued' by dolphins and scientists are havingexperienced Life Guards, was highly unusual. It was
trouble accepting that. If someone says 'I was half aonly after about forty five minutes that they saw the
mile from the beach and got into trouble, but then afin of the Great White Shark. Ah, say the scientists,
dolphin appeared, swum under me and lifted me up',don't go interpreting this! You can't say the dolphins
the scientists can't accept it. They don't believe thatknew the shark was there; knew the swimmers were
dolphins are clever enough to work out that the humanin danger; and went over to protect them. Well, what
is having problems and then planning something like acan you say? Okay, maybe 'The dolphins saved us'
'rescue'. Why not? Dolphins have brains that are justimplies that the mammals with fins were thinking too
about as big as ours. They communicate, using amuch, but you know, you could say 'What the dolphins
complex language of grunts, hoots and whistles. Theydid saved our lives'. That's true.
are a social animal, just like human beings, andBecause, at the end of the day - especially at the end
biologists argue that it was living in colonies that forcedof a long day out in the water, avoiding getting eaten -
us to develop big brains. Ah, apart from the fact thatit doesn't really matter what was going through the
dolphins are mammals in water and we are mammalsdolphins' heads. The facts in the two cases above are
on land - oh, and they don't have arms. Does that(i) the swimmers were in danger from sharks; (ii) they
make them stupid?avoided death because dolphins were around. It really
A very interesting programme on BBC last night gavedoesn't matter if the air-breathing, swimming mammals
two well documented examples. In both cases, thererecognise us as a fellow species, and realise our
were many witnesses so there was no dispute aboutclumsy attempts at swimming often attract sharks,
what actually happened. In the first case, a party ofwho think we are fish in trouble, (got that fact from
swimmers had been out on a boat in the Red Sea.'Jaws'. Watch it again - it's the part when Richard
They came across a school of dolphins and startedDreyfus is arguing with the Mayor on the beach).
swimming with them. After some time the dolphinsNo, the scientists are having problems with that old
went away and the humans, apart from one, climbedchestnut, 'What is really going on?', which means to
back on their boat. That unfortunate man was thenthem, 'What were they thinking?' Lots of us get bound
attacked by a shark. It took a bite out of him, and theup in that. For instance, it's an established fact that only
people on the boat saw a huge pool of blood in thefive per cent of older people in Britain and the United
water and swung back to pick him up. Before they gotStates get to retirement age with enough money to
to him, they saw that the dolphins had re-appearedlast through. Most of us end up retired and flat broke.
and seemed to be swimming in circles round the victim,That's a fact. It really doesn't matter what was going
as if to protect him from the shark.through our heads; what our intentions were; what we
Whoah, say the scientists. We don't know that. What,had planned; or what we expected. But we worry
that the dolphins were circling? Ah no, say the men inabout such mental processes. Why? In the last few
white coats. They all saw that, there were witnesses.years the weather has thrown everything at us -
But we don't know the dolphins had thought tohurricanes, floods, brush fires, snow and blizzards - and
themselves, 'This poor unfortunate man, we mustit's not thinking anything. These things happen. Wouldn't
protect him'. No, said one highly qualified guy. It might beit be a good idea to learn something here?
that dolphins have a 'circle the wagons' instinct. WhenIt really doesn't matter if dolphins circle swimmers
sharks appear, they group together, for mutualbecause they think they're dolphins. The fact is that
protection. They might just have included this guyhumans have sometimes been 'saved' by the actions
because - well, maybe they mistook him for one ofof nearby dolphins, that's all. Unfortunately, out here on
their own. I beg your pardon? Dolphins, you say, aredry land, if we're poor, frustrated, not achieving our
not only NOT thinking creatures, they also don't knowambitions and fearful of the future, then one thing is
the difference between legs and a fishy tail?clear. We had better start paddling, because, here and
In the second case, which happened off the Northnow, there's no chance we're going to be rescued by
Island of New Zealand, a group of dolphins surroundedanything, especially dolphins.
a group of swimmers, actually qualified Life Guards.